AAA (ambivalence, anger and appreciation)

While my friend is in surgery, I'm sat here with mixed emotions. Mostly I'm angry.  I'm angry with myself, that I didn't keep a more careful watch on my dog. Second guessing all the choices of yesterday, I think about what should have been done differently, for instance, what if I'd shouted 'stay' rather than 'no?' Or if I'd just been more attentive and set up camp where Bud had wanted to stop.

I consider ending all this nonsense. 'What a stupid notion: crossing a country on foot. Where's the benefit, the profit? It certainly hasn't benefited Buddy, has it?'

I'm extremely upset with the driver who could have stopped, but didn't. I admit, a dog shouldn't be on a highway, but if you can avoid hitting it, for goodness sake, have a heart.

I'm angry with Buddy. After almost a month of demonstrating exceptional discipline, never a paw on the concrete without permission, what was he thinking?

I'm frustrated about the impact this will have on the journey and the unexpected costs incurred.

HOWEVER, after all is said and done, I'm grateful.

I'm thankful for Buddy's unconditional friendship, that he's put up with all of my demands and only ever wanted companionship in return (well, that and food). I'm thankful that he's still alive and pray that his story will be one of success in the face of adversity.

Also, I feel deep appreciation for all the wonderful people who've gone out of their way to lend a hand. Actions truly speak louder than words, and I'm humbled to be the recipient of many gracious actions. I would...

...Breaking news! Dr. Carlson just rang to say that the procedure is finished and that everything went well. They're going to keep Bud overnight and then he'll be free to go in the morning. I'm about five miles from the clinic, organizing a new form of transportation for my friend to use while the soft tissue heals. Off to see him now. Then, I'll be going to the Kiwanis camp area to set up a place for us to rest and let Buddy get used to this change.